Sorcerers of Uln

 SORCERERS & THEIR DEMONS

A sorcerer is an individual that has willingly (or not) found themselves with a chaos demon grafted to their soul. The White Order of the Faceless God - Bastard of the unseason - specialize in training human sorcerers to survive and manage their demons. Such men and women are bound to the Order and a rare few function as anti-paladins of the Faceless God. Other non-human peoples have their own blasphemous traditions not covered here.

Chaos demons manifest in the prime manifold as small blobs of entropy, without which the universe could not exist. A host is needed to remain anchored in the physical world and without one they will dissolve back into the oblivion maelstrom of the elemental manifold of chaos. When one host dies a demon has seconds to jump to a new one, always seeking out the strongest soul in their immediate surroundings. 

In the White Order this is a highly ritualized process. Aspirants are trained from birth and apprenticed to senior sorcerers in anticipation of becoming the demon’s next host. Under less than ideal conditions the new host is the one who caused the sorcerer’s demise. Demons are powerful creatures and much coveted by the hubristic and power hungry. 

Young demons are feral and limited in their power. Their intelligence is akin to a ferret. Old demons who have passed through multiple hosts develop complex identities. They can be considered wise, carrying, as they do, the imprinted memories and experiences of their past riders.  

THE RIDER AND THE MOUNT: DEMONS IN ASCENSION 

When a demon by its nature is debauched and hedonistic, wanting to experience all the amazing sensory experiences of physical existence. But this is never good for the physical host. Young demons do not care. When the host is an animal or even an untrained human the demon is almost always in ascension. 

This inevitably leads to ruin and, ultimately, the death of the host as unchecked chaos leaks from their demon and riddles their bodies with tumors. In the cases of humans with ascendant demons this also often involves drunken revels, punch ups at the tavern, extreme fornication, and parts - if not all - of a town or village being reduced to ashes.

The danger persists even for the trained sorcerer if their demon is young and unwise. A strong willed host is a must. For an older demon the risk diminishes, though never truly vanishes, as they understand that their continued existence depends on the wellbeing of their rider.

RISKING OBLIVION

Demons must guard against the application of lethal force or risk the ire of the Faceless God. To attack a person deliberately with the intent to kill is to guarantee the demon’s return to the nothingness of the be-not on the manifold of chaos. Partnerships with the vicious and capricious humans never end well for anyone involved.

However, through esoteric theological and mental contortion, a trained sorcerer may inflict harm on those who are a threat to their safety. Temporarily (you hope) disabling or impairing an assailant is acceptable to the Faceless God. There are accounts of sorcerers then finishing off their foes with the application of a rock to the skull, but this is entering theologically murky territory.

MANAGING CHAOS

Chaos is the natural byproduct of most sorcerous talents. It manifests as heat, like a fever. A sorcerer’s capacity for chaos is their [L]+STR. Each talent has a cost associated with it. When that threshold is met a sorcerer must save vs WIL each round or become incapacitated and gain a level of fatigue. At threshold +2 the save becomes difficult. At +4 it is extreme.

While incapacitated, there is a strong likelihood that their demon wil ascend.

To bleed chaos a sorcerer must find appropriate ways of dissipating its destructive energy. Destroying small vermin (anything that crawls or slithers will do) will dissipate 1d4 chaos points for every dozen or so creatures eliminated. For obvious reasons, sorcerers are quite popular at inns and brothels and - if we’re being honest - exploding fleas and pubic lice is great fun for their demon. Destroying certain larger creatures - those considered under the domain of the Faceless God, such as rats, carrion eaters, etc. - will dissipate 1d4 chaos points per creature. 

Theologically, no one is quite sure why this is considered acceptable by the Faceless God, but exploding a cat or a cow would invoke his wrath. Some sorcerers have been known to try hunting game with their demons, but the results are always spectacularly messy and much of the animal is destroyed.

Any fatigue gained can only be removed with a long rest. 

This old sorcerer and her demon have no time for your party's shenanigans

SORCERER TALENTS

DEMON VISION (R1). Chaos: 0.  You can see in dim lighting as though it were bright daylight. You cannot see in total darkness. You can also see the souls of creatures in range and gauge their general spiritual and physical health.

TIC-TIC-BOOM! (R1, WIL: easy). Chaos: +1d4-1 (min. 1). You can ignite combustible materials, either starting fires or causing existing fires to grow in size. You may also use this ability to light or snuff out flames (candle, torch, or small campfire). In all cases your fire requires fuel in order to burn. 

In non-combat situations you may use this talent to boil water, heat food, and dry sodden clothing, light candles and lanterns, or clean a soiled object. In these less stressful settings you can avoid generating any excess chaos. 

HEAT METAL (R1, WIL: normal). Chaos: +1d6. Cause metal to glow red hot. Creatures in contact with the object take [HL]d8 damage. If the object is held, the creature must save vs STR or drop it. If they pass the save they have DISADV on attack rolls or ability saves to use the object until the end of your next turn. You may use your action on subsequent turns to maintain the heat without a WIL save.    

ENTROPY (R1, WIL: easy). Chaos: +1d4. Accelerate the decay in an object that you can see. Cause metals to oxidize and rust, rot leather, cut ropes, etc. For obvious reasons, sorcerers are not welcome on sailing ships of any kind. 

SURGICAL STRIKE (R1, WIL). Chaos: +1d6-1 (min. 1). From a distance, pinch nerves, cut tendons, and otherwise incapacitate targets. Inflicts [HL]1d4 damage.      

BULLETE TIME (self, duration: 1d4+[L] rounds). Chaos: +1d6+1. As the haste spell. From your perspective the world around you seems to slow down. You gain a free move action, an extra attack, +2 AC, and ADV on STR and DEX saves.

UNCANNY DODGE (self, reaction: WIL: normal). Chaos: +1d4. When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, save vs WIL. If you beat a normal save you take ½ damage. If you beat a hard save you take no damage.

DOOMS & MISHAPS OF THE SORCERER

When a PC fails a WIL save to cast a spell they suffer a random mishap. When they critically fail a spell casting save they gain a doom (in order). 

1D6 SORCEROUS MISHAPS

1. You cannot use your sorcerous abilities for 1d4 rounds

2. The cost to use your next sorcerous power doubles

3. You gain a level of fatigue

4. You are stunned. Save ends

5. Something in your zone bursts into flames

6. Demonic backlash. You take 1d4 damage and gain 1d6 chaos points

DOOMS OF THE SORCERER

1. Something spooks your demon and you gain a level of fatigue. You cannot use your sorcerous abilities until you long rest

2. Gain a magical level of fatigue. It can only be removed by visiting a shire of the Faceless God and spending a full day in silent prayer

3. You and your demon have angered the Faceless God! An avatar of the god appears and eats your demon. You are no longer a sorcerer.

Cleric of Sinistar

 My old blog fizzled out pretty quickly, though it did function as the seed for my podcast Camping With Owlbears which had a pretty good run during the COVID 19 pandemic. Almost 70 episodes. But that too eventually went dark in late 2021.

I was catching up on my favorite ttrpg podcast last week - Blogs on Tape by the brilliant Nick LS Wheland - when I was simultaneously introduced to and learned of the demise of the OSR blog Basic Red RPG. Nick has recorded a number of episodes lately in an attempt to preserve some of the creativity that once lived in that space and I was inspired to take another stab at participating in the OSR blog-o-sphere.

Episode 149: Basic Red Multipost: Classes, by Daniel Dean grabbed my attention in particular - specifically the Cleric of Sinistar. I don't know why these insane and probably game-breaking classes appeal to me the way they do. I'm looking at you Skerples , and you're god-damned mute paladin and those fucking sorcerors!

Like many of the best OSR blog posts the Cleric of Sinistar was more stream of conscious creativity than a presentation of a polished and play-tested concepts. I’ve come to appreciate how this sort of brainstorming in the public sphere inspires me though. It offers permission for others to gather up the threads laid out and weave something of their own ideas into the larger tapestry. It excites the imagination in a way that I think is important to the creative process. It stirs the pot and revs the engine before the hard work of making it fit within your previously defined design framework.

Compared with the Skerples classes the Cleric of Sinistar is not too outrageous, despite it being high-gonzo. I still wouldn't let just any of my group play one however. It would have to be the right kind of player. I could definitely see using a Cleric of Sinistar as the leader of an antagonistic faction.

Like a lot of OSR game masters, I find game design as interesting and enjoyable as actually play. Over the past seven years of consistent play with the same group of friends my collection of house rules turned into its own interpretation of the D&D oeuvre. It’s called GLAIVE and you can check it out if you wish.

I thought I would adapt the idea of the Cleric of Sinistar into Glaive terminology in an attempt to keep the spirit of Basic Red alive a bit longer - at least until this blog inevitably goes quiet, becomes a footnote in the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine, and, eventually, is no more. Such is the way of things.

A very un-Glaive practice of level-gating some of the talents below felt neccesary. I'm okay with that. Glaive is just a generic tool-kit. Exceptions for setting specific flavore should be encouraged. A glossary of Glaive terms is provided at the end of this post*.

art by Sunflower 204 on DeviantArt

CLERIC of SINISTAR

a Glaive interpretation of Daniel Dean’s original idea.

There is a whole planet who hates you, made of flesh and metal. He is hungry. He is coming. A planet with a meany face. You can only select Talents from the Cleric of Sinistar list. You have no other powers. Why would you need them?

“BEWARE!” (R0+1 zone for every two character levels you possess). A cleric may save vs WIL to inflict the fearful condition on [HL] creatures for 1d3 rounds. The creature(s) make saves and attack rolls with DISADV. Creature(s) may not willingly move closer to the source of their fear - you.

“I HUNGER!” Sinistrenes can eat anything - up to their body weight per day - like Matter-Eater Lad. Every human-sized body (or 2 goblin-sized bodies) consumed in this manner grants +100 bonus xp.

You consume your massive meal in the time it takes a regular person to consume 1 ration and it incurs the same benefits.

“WAARGH!!!”. Prerequisit: Level 2+. [HL] times per day you can scream as a free action to gain ADV on your next attack & damage roll against a creature. On a critical success you vocally explode a creature with HD ≲([L]x2). Otherwise, do double-damage.

You get no xp or treasure for exploded creatures. Sinistar Ate Your Quarters.

TRAPJAW. Prerequisit: Level 2+. Gain a bite attack that does [HL]d6 damage & counts as magical for purposes of overcoming damage resistance.

FLESH OF SINISTAR. Prerequisit: Level 3+. You now take ½ damage from non-magical attacks. You can survive in a vacuum by entering a rage-filled stasis. A furious nap, if you will.

TWELVE FACES OF FEAR. Prerequisit: Level 3+. You have 360 degree vision. You are immune to Backstab/Seak Attack and you cannot be surprised.

“FIGHT ME!”. Prerequisit: Level 4+. Gain an extra attack and a one-time +10 hp bonus.

TRANSVECTION. Prerequisit: Level 4+. You literally float a few inches off the ground. In combat only, gain a free move action. GM’s discreation regarding how/when obstacles affecting movement in a zone affect you.

Talent. Like a class feature or a feat in the vanilla game.

R. Range expressed in zones. R0 is the zone your character is standing in. R1 is any zone adjacent to that, etc.

[L]. Character level or creature hit dice (HD).

[HL]. Half-Level. 1/2 your character level, rounded up. ex. HL of a 3rd level character = (1.5 rounded up) 2.

Zone. An abstract measurement of physical space. The distance a typical character can move unempeded in 1 round of play. Actual size is fluid based on terrain difficulty and obstacles.

RELIC Character Class: The Amazons of Joru

 I thought I would post the character classes out of RELIC v2. I've not been having any RPG thoughts of late, and my schedule isn't allowing for any gaming. So this will have to do for content :)

An Updated Relic

 Relic 2.0, if you will. Link below!

RELIC v2

I cleaned up a bunch of small editorial issues, removed some things that I didn't love, and reworked the character options to be a bit more streamlined -less kitchen sink approach

I thought the Mimic and Gnome were a lot of fun from the original Relic (though I only adapted those from other people's work). I took a stab at the old "species-as-class" idea and I really like it. More so than when I played B/X and OSE. We've got the classic 3: Dwarf, Elf, & Hobbit

In the unlikely event that the JRR Tolkein estate comes after my free game, I will rename them Halflings or whatever ;P

I'm going to start posting the classes that I did not carry over here

RELIC: A Game of Small Gods & Lost Wonders

 It's been a minute. But I'm still around.

I've been working feverishly on a new ruleset as my GLAIVE campaign cones to an end and I finally sent it off to Best Value Copy to make some physical copies for my players. Weighing in at a hefty 108 pages I actually had to break it into two zines to make it work as a saddle stitched booklet.

But this PDF version is everything in one document. I've talked about RELIC a bunch on the Camping With Owlbears podcast. I'm not sure I actually provided any insights. but I sure talked about it a bunch.

RELIC is a GLoG (Goblin Laws of Gaming) that utilizes a unique approach to magic and character classes that I really like. It is also CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 so feel free to claim entire chunks of this for yourself. Just give appropriate credit and don't use it for any commercial projects and you're good to go.

Feedback is always great, but I wouldn't leave it here. The CWO Podcast on Anchor has a janky voice message system and those always get to me. They also give me things to respond to on the podcast. :)

RELIC PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Wh4vpZx2n_gmHZWCGl3jYZ48lkN4_ZUt/view?usp=sharing

RELIC 2-PAGE SPREAD PDF (My preferred way of viewing): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1n_jCb1SB2iX-eeoVqiKeJ_Uf2QCtCjfK/view?usp=sharing

Camping With Owlbears: The Podcast

 All three of you who actually followed this blog might have noticed that it kind of dried up and died back in February. The reason for this is simple: I started podcasting my gaming journal rather that writing it down.

It's been so long that I'm not even sure if I mentioned that here. If I did, this is a reminder post. If I didn't -whoops!

There are nearly 60 episodes of Camping With Owlbears to check out.

They are basically raw takes with very little editing. I kind of consider myself the only audience for the material, thus I treat it more like a gaming journal than something I want to invest hours of editing in.

Maybe some of you will enjoy it: Camping With Owlbears Podcast.

Glaive 2.1

 More than a year out from writing my original Glaive rules based on Ben Milton's Knave I've been getting a very good handle on what works and what doesn't. I've recently been rewriting the game as a GLoG hack. 

The GLoG (Goblin Laws of Gaming) was originally written by Arnold Kemp of Goblin Punch, and really hit its stride when Skerples collected it into a single coherent document. Since then a very active DIY community has sprung up around the GLoG, which is basically a modern hack of the Basic D&D rules. Things are very deadly in the old-school tradition, but the character concepts are interesting and dynamic in a very modern way.

What's different about it? really just two things, but I think they are game changers. The first are the Character Templates. Most classes have 4 templates. You can select one every time you level up. You always start with the first template of a class if you want to multi-class. You can only have 4 templates. At level 5 and beyond a PC can no longer be tormented by the GM and is free to retire. 

Personally, I think D&D REALLY begins to fall apart after 5th level (irregardless of the edition). SO as far as I'm concerned this is brilliant.

The other innovation of the GLoG is the replacement of the Vancian magic system with the extremely intuitive Magic Dice system. It's slightly too involved for me to explain here, but you should follow the link to my own GLoG hack or read Many Rats on Sticks to learn about it. 

Where modern 5e D&D is largely about consuming pre-packaged experiences from Hasbro, the GLoG community is all about making fantasy gaming your own. Personal. Weird. There is a definite gonzo element to most people's interpretation of the GLoG, and after the generic and frankly boring as hell MTG/Forgotten Realms/World of Warcraft fantasy flavor you get out of 5e D&D I think this is a real selling point.

Because it exists in the most public space of the Creative Commons License [Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International(CC BY-NC-SA 4.0)]  it means that nobody owns the GLoG. Given how niche even the most popular of role-playing games is, I think this is a good thing. Not everything we do should be judged by it's ability to return a profit. Sometimes we invest hours and days of our time into a thing simply because we love it. And that's good. 

Here is a link to my revised Glaive rules.

This Google Sheet has links to most active hacks of the GLoG.

Here's a random character out of my Glaive 2.1 hack.  

Camping With Owlbears: The Podcast

For a bunch of reasons I’ve been podcasting Camping With Owlbears for a few weeks now rather than writing blog posts. I don’t know if this is permanent or not. Time will tell.

I hope you’ll take a listen. 

While I am using the Anchor podcasting app, CWO Is also available on Spotify and *should* be available on the Apple Podcast app soon. (The application process takes a little time.)

https://anchor.fm/lonely-adventurer

Tomb of The Serpent Kings Part 9

After their last delve into the Tomb of The Serpent Kings, the party was flush with silver and confident that they had explored almost all of the long-forgotten underground complex. Yet after unintentionally releasing a succubus into the world, the party was not in any great rush to return.

Six months went by and winter had arrived at Bebbanburg Keep. The adventuring season was effectively over. But the costs of living in the Keep, and the party’s own excesses, had piled up quickly. The first snow of the year was on the ground and the party found itself in debt to the Merchant Guild Bank with no way of paying for food or rent in the coming weeks.

[DM Note: In previous sessions, we have been rolling on the WTF Did I Do Last Night carousing table collectively, but the first result sounded specifically personal so all six Players rolled individually this time. Maul the dwarf avoided contracting a venereal disease only by the grace of his dwarven fortitude, while Sister Cletus had a nonspecific but nonetheless disturbing romantic encounter with a pig. The halfling mage Belladonna awoke one morning in a stranger’s house wearing her gambison . . .and nothing else. The ranger/thief Farcaan spent three days in the stocks on a charge of drunk and disorderly, while both the mage JD and fighter Eefje found themselves paying steep fines for various run-ins with the authorities in charge of maintaining order in the Outer Baily.

There was also the mundane cost of living (10sp/week x Level), and a payoff to the father of Kit the lantern bearer who was cut to ribbons by a brutal blade trap.]

With no honest way of earning coin, the six adventurers set out one last time for the Tomb of The Serpent Kings. Not for fame and glory this time, but just to pay their bills.

Entering once again by way of the hidden path below the roots of a gnarled old tree they moved down into the Goblin Warrens. They spent some time sifting through the muck of the Goblin Farm where they recovered a handful of stinking coins and eventually had an encounter with the tentacled mushroom creatures they had fought the last time they were here. The creatures remembered the party well and backed off cautiously. The party decided to leave the area rather than pursue them. Mushroom monsters rarely yielded any treasure worth having. Before leaving though the two magic users gathered a sack full of the blue mushrooms know as dungeon cucumbers. The Witch had told them they were useful for curing paralysis and ordered them to recover some samples.

Heading north the party entered the Basilisk Hall as quietly as they could, ears alert for any sign of the creature that had been such a problem for them on previous visits. But the hall was unnaturally quiet. No heavy breathing in the dark. No clink of chains being dragged across the stone-flagged floor. Now more alert and paranoid than ever, the party hugged the south wall and scuttled westward.

A figure began to resolve itself at the edge of the party’s torchlight. It was broad-shouldered, wielded a heavily notched blade, and blocked the passage leading west. As it raised it’s head the veteran members of the party recognized their old adventuring companion, Alonzo Machete! The horrible wound that had ended his life, splitting him open from collar to crotch, had been crudely sewn closed with thick hempen twine as thick as a finger. On a chain around his neck hung a cold-iron key. Black ichor seeped from his ghastly wounds and an unearthly voice, like the howl of a tormented spirit, forced its way past his stiff and desiccated lips.

“YOOOUUUU . . .LEEEEFFFT. . .MEEEEEEEeeee!”

A great wind as from an unholy crypt swept through the hall creating a horizontal dust devil as a spooky light began to glow behind the party’s former comrade. The thing that had been Alonzo screamed like a banshee, the sound visibly distorting the air before it. The stone floor buckled and cracked as five skeletal warriors clawed their way out of the ground.

The party was dumbstruck but had the wherewithal to sheath their blades and those who had them unhitched maces from their belts. This was not their first skeleton dance. Apparently ready for anything, Farcaan launched her grapnel hook at the key around Alonzon’s neck and by some miracle [a Natural 20] snagged the key and ripped it from its chain. 

Undead Alonzo unleashed a flurry of blows upon Maul and Eefje, but the two warriors kept up a solid defense and emerged unscathed. Cletus moved out into the open wielding a holy relic and invoked her patron, St. Thomas. Three of the skeletons exploded instantly. Knowing that her elven bow was useless in this situation Farcaan readied her trusty shovel as the mages began preparing spells. 

Combat got crazy. Belladonna cast Summon Cube under Alonzo, dropping him into a deep pit while JD opened a portal to hell engulfing several of the skeletons in an acidic miasma that drove one of them into a killing frenzy against one of its own. Undead Alonzo clawed free of the pit and summoned more skeletons with his unearth howl. Another pit appeared beneath his feet. A Web spell was hurled at his face to stop him summoning more. Effje dispatched three skeletons at once in an explosion of violence that left the rest of the party stunned. 

Finally, as Undead Alonzo tore the sticky webbing from his face and began clawing his way out of the pit again, Maul, Effje, and Farcaan (armed with her trusty Spade of Smashing) dogpiled onto him and beat him to death. A second death. Killed him dead for sure again!

[DM Note: this fight was an inadvertent cakewalk for the party, though the Players were certainly freaked out by the reappearance of Alonzo and the drama it evoked at the table cannot be understated. So definitely a success on that count. The combination of clever spells and naked violence showed me that I will definitely have to up my DM Tactics game if I wish to inflict actual damage on the party in the future. A few skeletal archers or a couple of flying monsters would have dramatically changed how things worked out.]

The party was fairly certain that the key they had recovered from Undead Alonzo would open the locked treasure vault at the other side of the dungeon. But the unexplored territory was near to hand and they could not resist. Ahead of them lay two doors. A mundane stone door in the north wall and a door to the west carved to resemble a multitude of entwined snakes. One of the snakes was missing. JD had a small stone snake recovered several delves earlier in his pack. Without hesitating he fit the small carved serpent into the door which immediately became animated and slithered up into the ceiling, revealing a musty old throne room lit by eery purple lights. The walls were a red marble laced with gold and carved to resemble the scales of a snake. The throne was constructed for someone much larger than a human. 8 small mirrors of exquisite craftmanship were arrayed around the throne, reflecting and multiplying the purple light. Obviously, they stole these.

Perhaps unwisely, JD pulled himself up onto the throne despite the protests of some of the other party members. For a brief moment, he felt an unquenchable desire to rule over others and dominate all the land! In his mind’s eye, his trusted companions suddenly looked weak and malleable -potential minions to do his bidding. And then it passed.

[DM Note: save vs Mind Control or desire lordship or conquest.]

It did not take Farcaan long to discover a secret door in the north wall. It did take some time for Farcaan to muster the courage to open it, enter the small chamber behind the door, and then open another secret door leading to a large Ingredient Storage Room beyond.

Eventually, though, the brave Shovel Knight crept quietly into the storage room where she marveled at the wealth she saw represented before her. She also heard absent-minded humming coming from an adjacent room and froze in her tracks. The stealthy halfling Belladonna padded up to ask what was taking Farcaan so long and promptly knocked over a crate containing fragile glass vials. The noise was incredible. The humming stopped immediately.

The rest of the party rushed into the storage room to see what was happening just as a massive figure bent itself to enter from the adjacent room. It looked like a dried human corpse (with fangs) fused to a snake’s tail at the waist and wearing tattered ancient robes. His eyes were red pinpricks.

“Hello, bipeds,” said the eight-foot-tall immortal snake-man wizard. He then introduced himself as Xiximanter, Wizard Supreme to his Exalted Emminence, Emperor Xaxiss. 

While the party’s level of anxiety spiked back up to Undead Alonzo levels and stayed there the entire time, they quickly figured out that Xiximanter was nuts. As far as he was concerned the Snake-man Empire still flourished on the surface world and these bipeds were barbarians visiting from the provinces. He asked for news and yarn was spun by the non-snake-people about how well things were going for the Empire. He casually tried to buy the magic users from the party (for his immortality experiments) and offered to pay well for any humanoids they might bring him in the future. He showed them his fungal-goblin experiment and complained about what poor test subjects goblins made. 

The TRASH MOB MINI I used for Xiximanter

The actually scary AF image of Xiximanter by SCRAP PRINCESS

There was one very tense moment when Xiximanter insisted on “validating” the party’s passes. The party had found serpent amulets months earlier that apparently acted as permission to be in the Tombs. Passes to Disney, if you will. Unfortunately, they only had enough for half of the party. Before Xiximanter could devour those unfortunate enough to not possess an amulet the party went on at great lengths about something called a “Groupon” that was a new fad in the empire. It allowed two guests to share a single amulet.

Horrible death: Avoided.

After some more very awkward small talk, the party departed with promises to return bearing spell components and victims for Xiximanter and made their way unmolested to the locked treasure vault that had thwarted them so many times before to loot the last bits (?) of treasure from the Tomb of The Serpent Kings. 

[DM Note: And that was how we ended ToTSK! Many thanks to Skerples of Coins and Scrolls for writing ToTSK, and to James Young of Ten Foot Polemic for his excellent carousing and emergent backstory tables. You guys were instrumental in the fun we had at the gaming table these past months.

I will do a “Final Thoughts” and summary post shortly.]

Tomb of The Serpent Kings Part 8

Haco was dead -slain by the giant stone skeleton. So the party blamed him for burning down the Slumbering Giant. Naturally. Problem solved.

Maul had met a shifty elf named Farcaan at the feast thrown in Haco’s honor and the two of them set off together for the Tomb of The Serpent Kings. They were joined by the apprentices of the Witch of Bebbenburg -JD (whom Maul had fought the stone skeleton with) and a young Halfling named Belladonna.

Being an apprentice to the witch Elsbeth Dupree is not an enviable post. She spends her time on the upper floors of her tower ingesting psychotropic drugs and reading the inscrutable messages written in the stars by long-dead gods. Her apprentices are restricted to the lower levels of the tower, scrubbing chamber pots and dusting moldering tombs that they are not allowed to read. Dupree barks instructions and insults at her apprentices via a series of Magic Mouth spells. They both wear mage-locked anklets that the witch assures them will fold them inside-out if they ever betray her or her secrets.

So taking a few days to possibly get killed in a snake-man dungeon sounded pretty good.

Also in tow was the young village girl Kit who had signed a one-month contract to carry the party’s torch.

[DM Note: This session saw us transition from B/X (LoTFP) to my Knave hack, GLAIVE. It took about 30 minutes to translate JD and Maul to Glaive. Effje and Sister Cletus’ players had to miss our last game of 2019 due to the flu. Ramen’s player decided to roll up a new character and her fiance joined us for her first game of D&D ever. She did great and was awesome!]

Judging by their map, the adventurers felt confident that they had explored most of the dungeon. But there were two large gaps on the second and third levels. Returning to the secret entrance located in the twisted roots of a mighty tree they returned to the dungeon via the goblin warrens. Where they encountered hostile fungiods that had either moved in after the goblins left, or grew out of the muck in the old mushroom farm. Not sure which. Either way, there were lots of teeth and whipping tentacles when they encountered in a pair of the creatures in the southeastern passage of the old warren. Retreating back to the old Goblin Guard Room, Maul threw down his caltrops in the doorway and readied his great axe. 

The first fungoid came to a painful stop as the caltrops bit into its feet, but the second was not slowed. JD and Farcaan attacked with sling and bow to no effect. Not wanting to waste her precious few spells, Bell drew cold steel and hacked at the closer fungoid. Maul finished the job, splitting the creature in two with his axe. Seeing this, the remaining creature fled in terror and the party moved on to a Domed Hall where they found the goblin crook they had used to fend off a Skeleton Jelly on a previous visit. They scooped that up in anticipation of encountering more of the creatures.

Once more the locked iron door of the Treasure Room mocked the party as they moved eastward through the old Slave Room and up into a very obvious Pit Trap. Leading the party, Maul failed to notice the suspicious loose tiles on the floor and then failed to move fast enough as they collapsed inward like sand through an hourglass, taking the dwarf with them. Maul’s pack took the brunt of the damage and for a moment his heart stopped upon seeing several skeletons impaled on the spikes all around him. Luckily they were just victims of the trap and not skeleton jellies. He looted a gold ring from one of the skeletons while the party prepared a rope to haul him out of the trap.

To the east they discovered a Yawning Chasm and wanted nothing to do with it, so edged back around the pit trap and headed into a Hallway that sloped upwards to the north where they ran into an actual jelly coated skeleton. They had the improvised skeleton crook ready and forced the skeleton jelly up into an old Ceremonial Room. There was a stone door to the east that appeared to be barred from the far side. There was also a dry fountain surrounded by stone benches and evidence that something had been pried off the top of the fountain at some point. Maul retrieved a serpent idol from his pack and slotted it into the top of the fountain. Hidden mechanisms began working inside the walls and the stone door ground open revealing, once again, the yawning chasm that no one wanted to get too close to.

[DM Note: My wife has been lugging around this goofy serpent-man idol since the second or third session, convinced it was the key to...something. So finally I let her have a win. But it’s really just a random piece of loot. The Stone Door is a replica of the Hammer Trap door from the first level of the dungeon. Except that it hammers its victims out into the chasm.]

As the party pushed the skeleton jelly through the doorway the hammer trap activated and sent it flying out into the dark void. Rightfully proud of themselves, the party headed west down into the Guarded Hall where they found two incredibly life-like snake-man statues flanking the entrance to the hall. Clearly, this was a trap!

[DM Note: It was not. But 15 minutes of elaborate scheming later . . .]

A dramatic and detailed plan of action was devised and put into action. Maul dove through the gap between the statues bracing himself for the inevitable blows. Bell prepared to cast Summon Cube to destroy the earth below the definitely living snake-men statues the moment they struck.

Just pretend the snake guys are made of stone.

Nothing happened. Maul dusted himself off and the party looked around.

Discovering a Shrine Alcove just around the corner from the statues, Maul entered with Farcaan. There was a statue mounted on a round pedestal. There were two holes in the base large enough to fit a pair of humans arms. But not being complete dummies Maul and Farcaan stuck the crook and the elf’s shovel into the holes. Rotating the statue clockwise caused dozens of large gold coins to pour out of the base, some of them rolling out of the room and into the Blade Trap Hallway.

[DM Note: They got lucky. Turning it counter-clockwise would have filled the room with poison gas.]

The ceiling of the Blade Trap Hallway is ridged like the gullet of a snake. This instantly raised the hackles of the party. No other parts of the dungeon had thus far looked like it might eat the party. So they sent Kit the lantern bearer to fetch the coins that had rolled that way. In seconds Kit was sliced into a dozen pieces. Her lantern shattered on the floor, briefly lighting the hallway with a spreading pool of burning lamp oil before plunging the party into total darkness.

[DM Note: Okay, first of all -you should always have more than one light source lit at any given time. Because if you don’t the DM is going to say, “roll a d4 -that is how many Turns it takes for you to blindly grope through your pack for flint, steel, and a torch,” and then start rolling for Wandering Monsters.

I didn’t think sending Kit down the “ribbed for no one’s pleasure” hallway was very nice. Though it was funny. What are child labor/endangerment laws in D&D anyway? I made a Morale roll to see if she would follow the obviously sketchy order and one of the players made a roll to see if she could dodge the trap. She did, and then she did not. So my Murder Hobos have killed a child now. Hurray for D&D?]

It took 30 long and terrifying minutes to get a torch lit. As the light finally caught, Farcaan saw two massive skeletal hands coated in orange jelly close over her face and gave a muffled shout as the skeleton jelly began crushing her skull. 

The party flew into action and freed Farcaan before too much damage was done and quickly got the crook around the skeleton’s neck. Seeing what the Blade Trap Hallways had done to Kit, they manhandled the skeleton in that direction. Chopping blades met indestructible skeleton jelly and in short order the party had accidentally disabled the trapped hall. But they still had a skeleton jelly to deal with.

[DM Note: I imagine the effect was similar to tossing a large rock into a clothing dryer. If you’ve never seen this you should go to YouTube right now. I will wait.]  

What followed was a smash-cut montage that would have made Edgar Wright proud. Sloping hall, fountain, idol, gears and pulleys, doors opening, skeleton shoved through doorway, hammer trap, skeleton disappearing into the murky void of the chasm, back to the Guarded Hall.

The party considered their options. No more treasure in the Shrine Alcove. Obvious danger in the Blade Trap Hallway. And a door to the unknown in the south wall. They opened the door.

The Summoning Room is a long, narrow room with a huge pile of junk stacked at the entrance.

[DM Note: I think the junk is actually supposed to be piled outside the door, in the Guarded Hall but I’m not sure, and I didn’t describe it until the party opened the door anyway, so it was inside.]

A huge pile of junk blocked the entrance and I told the players it would take 30 minutes to clear it and it would probably make a lot of noise. Instead, Bell cast summon cube which allows her to create or banish several cubic meters of earth. It's basically the Minecraft spell. A trench opened under the junk and it filled the hole, allowing the party to just step over it.

At one end of the room was a small altar containing some golden bowls and a wavy dagger with a huge emerald in its pommel. (+1 magic dagger). At the other end of the room, Bell saw a very attractive halfling in ragged travel clothing who smiled unsettlingly at her. Her ankle was chained to the floor and she seemed very nonplussed to see the party. 

Instantly suspicious the party kept their distance and began asking questions. Who was she? How did she get here? Etc. She was captured by the goblins, she thought the party was them coming back to kill her.

[DM Note: The goblins were actually terrified of her and it was they who piled the junk in the doorway, hoping to keep her in the room. She is actually a succubus summoned thousands of years ago by snake-men priests.]

Not getting the answers they sought, Maul stepped forward menacingly with his great axe in an attempt to intimidate the halfling woman. In doing so, he crossed the summoning circle that bound her and the manacles around her leg turned to dust and blew away. She thanked him then with a “POP!” she teleported into the Guarded Hall. 

JD was at the back of the party and thus closest to the demon. She morphed into a gorgeous human woman before his eyes as she charmed him, then reached out to caress his face, preparing to deliver her deadly kiss to regain her strength with his life-force. 

A great axe and a shovel crashed into her before she could. The two mighty blows did little more than amuse her. Licking a small spot of blood from her lips the demon smiled saying, “That wasn’t very nice,” as her eyes turned black and opaque. She teleported again, this time beyond the light of the party’s lantern.

A minor panic ensued and it was decided to get out of the tomb as fast as possible and by the shortest route. This would take the party through the Basilisk Hall but it was a risk they were willing to take. 

Moving as quickly as they could they passed through the Blade Trap Hallway, through a Vestibule, and into the Basilisk Hall, making for the secret door that Maul knew was in the south wall. They were almost to the door when JD felt his limbs stiffen and his mind slow as he began to turn to stone before his companion’s eyes. Not even slowing, Maul scooped the mage up and started running, extolling the rest of the party to do the same.

As they reached the door the basilisk came crashing out of the darkness, lashing out at everyone with tooth and claw. JD regained the use of his limbs just as Farcaan took a blow to the face that dropped her to the ground unconscious. Bell cast night sphere and a 40’ globe of darkness appeared that blinded everyone (though they could all see the stars of a distant galaxy twinkling on its inner surface). The party used the confusion of the blinded basilisk to make its escape back to the surface where they tended to the Farcaan.

The elf survived but she was badly mauled, (-1 Charisma, permanent). Catching their breath at the spooky taxidermy shack, the adventurers then started back to Bebbenburg Keep for a much-needed drink.